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If.

If you pay the price of petrol, and it never makes you weep,
If you put up with their 'own brands', just because they're cheap.
If you pay off your utilities, despite them getting higher.
If you've made it through the winter, not turning on the fire.
If you've forgiven all the M.P's, who fiddled to the max
When you're still trying to sort out, last year's Council tax.
If you can put up with the cut backs, and keep a smiling face
Get through the recession without remortgaging your place
If you can send the kids to Uni, despite the rising fees.
And pretend it's not a problem, 'Like money grows on trees'
When financial matters worsen, keep running through your head
Your savings pay as little interest, as your partner pays in bed.
When the family think the holiday, will be to somewhere Greek
But you've looked at the budget, and it's Cleethorpes for a week.
If you can swallow all this hardship, and never let it choke.
Not only are you a man my son, you're one hell of a bloke!










And the original...

If by Rudyard Kipling

If
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!