I have been on this forum for quite a long time. I try to read most of the posts if not all. It sometimes happens that our pets die, leaving us in grief ( I dont not say that is bereavement because in my opinion saying that I would have gone too far). What can we do next? Should we mourn over the loss for ages or maybe we should do something I am sure that our pet would be happy with...Help another soul in need like we helped our beloved pet a few years ago. There are obviously many obstacles which do not let people adopt a pet i.e. a home situation, money, relationships, work etc. Should our grief be one of the obstacles? Please, keep your beloved dog in your heart, the best memories never die, but also, please, do not let the fact prevent us from helping another doggy soul in need. Should we have any stings of remorse or betrayal? I do not think we should. We are going to help another poor creature and everyone, dead or alive, should be proud of us!

Stan, a friend of mine says it's a compliment to the dog that has died that you want another and I agree with that.
Everyone's different, but I've always adopted another dog quickly. It doesn't mean you forget but you have the joy of seeing a new dog blossom.

I fully agree with Stan and Kathleen on this subject, it's a courageous and noble thing to do to put aside one's own grief for the sake of helping save another worthy dog. The only thing I do disagree with Stan about is where he says that it's going too far to call loosing a dog bereavement. It certainly is bereavement, just as much as, and more so in many cases, as losing a person. A dog is equal to and better than most people I have met, and when you lose someone like that it is definitely bereavement. Just don't let it stop you giving all to another greyhound, as Stan advises.

We got lassie and lady about 5 weeks after we lost Jess.
Missed having her around she left a hole in in our life .
Never regretted getting a new dog(s) so quickly.
We love them to bits.

From one wee scruffy dog to our gang of three.

Mags

I totally agree with John's comments on this subject - the loss of a pet most definitely is a bereavement. I know many people who have been more devastated at the loss of a pet than at the loss of a family member !!!!! Dogs give you unconditional love, and are never nasty or judgemental.

You will probably have seen my article on Pet Bereavement in the September issue of the newsletter.

This is a very personal subject .... some people may feel that adopting another dog quickly will ease their pain and be a tribute to the lost pet. Others, however, need time to grieve before even contemplating a 'replacement'. In my view there is no right or wrong here .... you have to do what is right for you, and be comfortable with it.

Susan.

I will never forget that grey day a year past November when I lost my beautiful Dalmatian girl Susy-she was only 8yrs old and so full of life-I felt my world had collapsed,after about a week of hysterics we began to notice how quiet the house was-i kept looking for her following me and even imagined i could hear her,so we took the plunge and phoned Celia who invited us up to the kennels for a look -only a look mind you we had never had a greyhound!I suspect you all know what happened the outcome was we came away with not one but two beautiful pooches-Sweetie and Archie!!!Now i will never forget my spotty girl- she was a one off- but letting these gentle dogs into our lives filled an awful hole in our hearts-so anyone thinking its too soon -i dont think so, you are not replacing your beloved pet just honouring them.Thankyou Celia and Jimmy for bringing these two pampered doggies into our lives!

The best thing to get the grief over is to help another creature in need. Thinking in terms of replacing is wrong. Thinking in terms of honouring, helping etc. is right as far as pets are concerned. Keep the passed away in our hearts, let others suffering or in need have a happy life. Well done Heather. I am positive your Susy is proud of you somewhere over The Raibow Bridge.

I put 'replacement' in inverted commas, because I know that you can never replace a beloved pet ... what I was TRYING to say, obviously badly, was that you CANNOT replace a pet - that is why it is very much up to how the individual feels about the length of time involved before thinking about bringing a new pet into the family.

If a human member of your family died, you wouldn't immediately go out and find another one would you? It is the same with a pet - he/she was a family member too.

As I said, there is no right or wrong here.

Susan.

That is a complete misunderstanding to compare animals with humans. It is a completely different sort of relationship (bond) between humans and humans with pets. They become members of the family, of course, but the bond will always remain different. If you have the beloved husband or wife, your love and attitude is always different... At least I hope so...

We are all entitled to our own opinion Stan!

Susan.

Pinched from another forum

A Dog's Will
When humans die, they make a will
To leave their homes and all they have
To those they love.
I, too, would make a will if I could write;
To some poor wistful lonely stray
I leave my happy home,
My dish, my cosy bed, my cushioned chair, my toy,
The well-loved lap, the gently stoking hand,
The loving voice,
The place I made in someone’s heart,
The love that, at the last, could help me to
A peaceful, painless end,
Held in loving arms.
If I should die, Oh! Do not say,
“No more a pet I’ll have
To grieve me by its loss”.
Seek out some lonely, unloved dog
And give my place to him.
This is my legacy I leave behind

‘Tis all I have to give.

I wholeheartedly agree with you here Susan. There is nothing more personal than grief, and we must all deal with it it in our way.

As we are currently going through this process, I would most definitively say that it is bereavement. I admit that our reactions were stronger than anticipated, maybe due to the sudden nature of events, but still. For us they've taken up such a huge place of our hearts and left an open wound that at least needs to heal a little before bringing in another animal.

There is a number of considerations as far as we are concerned, one of which is Tula. She has spent her whole life with Booker. Bringing in another dog right away would not only be cruel to her, but also to the other dog. Until she has had time to adjust and process her own grief, (research has indicated that animals also go through some sort of grief although it is not understood how) she could have difficulties accepting another dog in to the family. Wait too long and she may be so used have all the attention and turn aggressive towards a new family member. Yes it is difficult to say when the right time is, but here one can only go with ones own gut feeling.

Over showering a new dog, or Tula for that matter, with tons of extra attention because you are morning will only serve to teach your dogs bad habits. Yes I know, Tula does get a little more attention now, but we try to make sure she does not get spoiled and pick up undesirable tendencies.

We already decided that we will get another companion for us all, but it will be when we decide that the time is right. You are not doing anyone any favours (including the rescued dog) by bringing it in to soon.

I think it is a bit rich to say that allowing you and your family time to adjust and grief is selfish. Booker and Tula were our firsts and as such, so is this process. We must deal with it in our own way.

We got Bookers ashes today along with the autopsy report. I can only say that it has been another sad day full of emotions, also happy ones provided by Tula.

The sudden and premature way you lost Booker must make it even harder to bear.
And you're right, the fact that you have Tula makes it more difficult to decide whether and when to adopt another dog. The last thing you want to do is upset her or make her feel insecure.
And for you, while Booker has left an enormous gap in your lives, at least your routine goes on as you have Tula to take care of. If you lose your only dog, that routine stops and your home seems so empty.
Whatever you decide in the future, I hope you have happy times with Tula.

Tula still gives us happy times. She makes us laugh every day. We maintain the routine, but the house is still empty and the routine is somewhat different. Right now Tula is on her back greyhound style, head in Greg's lap and getting her belly rubbed while wiggling around and wagging her tail. We have already decided that will get another dog. Still working on the time. Probably after new year.

Everyone is different
My heart broke when Jess had to be put to sleep
We had a about a monh or so when we had the cancer diagnosed so we had started to grieve before we took her to the vet.
Even now I still can get get tearful and it's almost 2 years.

Lassie and lady are wonderful companions , funny , daft and sweet.
Bolt is a gem too

Mags

I think we should all take heed of what Jimmy said about this Forum earlier in the week - it is a place to share our experiences, and seek advice from other greyhound owners.

I further think we should remember that, for prospective adopters, this website is probably their first introduction to GRF.

I think the motto should be .....if we can't say something positive, or something that is of genuine help and interest, then we should say nothing at all - this is a PUBLIC forum, not the place to vent anger and squabbles.

Susan.